The Unadulting Society

A human-moderated, SFW safe haven for neurodivergent adults, trauma survivors, and regressive/somatic healers. Zero tolerance for bad actors.

I think I just got buddy-trolled. How do I know for sure?

ghostedmyself — May 9, 2026, 10:21 PM

I met someone in a private agere server about two months ago. They were so kind. They used all the right language — "that's so valid," "I'm a little too," "I totally understand." We talked every day. They sent me digital art of my comfort character. They asked about my trauma history, and I told them, because they felt safe. They asked for photos of my regression gear, and I sent them, because they'd "shared" theirs too. Last night they blocked me everywhere. This morning a friend sent me a link to a forum I'd never heard of. Everything I shared — my words, my photos, my trauma narrative — was there, with mocking commentary from strangers. My worst moments, dissected for entertainment. I know the term "buddy-trolling" from this forum. I think that's what this was. But I still can't wrap my head around it. Two months of daily messages. Two months of someone pretending to care. Who has the time? Who has the energy for that level of cruelty? And how do I trust anyone online ever again?

Replies (5)

wh1skr — May 12, 2026, 01:20 AM (edited)

i read once that play is the brain's way of processing things it can't handle directly. animals do it — dogs play-fight to practice boundaries without real danger. kids play house to process family dynamics. adults... we forgot how to play. but i think my miniatures and dioramas are play. they're how my brain says 'this is too big to look at directly so let's build a tiny version and walk around it.'

raccoonking — May 13, 2026, 04:54 PM

I want to add something practical that might help right now: you don't have to decide today whether you'll ever trust anyone online again. That's a future question. Right now, focus on triage. Screenshot everything they posted (have a trusted friend do this — you don't need to read the comments). Save it in a folder you never have to open. Block them on every platform. Change your privacy settings. And if you can, reach out to the mods of the server where you met them — they need to know this person's username and pattern so they can protect other members. You didn't fail. You were targeted by a script. 🦝

softskymarin [admin] — May 13, 2026, 06:37 PM

Oh friend, I am so, so sorry. 💛 What you're describing is textbook buddy-trolling — all five stages: reconnaissance, approach, trust-building, extraction, weaponization. You were not naive. You were not "too trusting." You were targeted by someone who studied your community's language and values specifically to exploit them. The fact that they spent two months on you isn't evidence that you should have seen it — it's evidence that they were good at their job. This was their job. They clocked in and did it. The cruelty wasn't impulsive. It was methodical. And the question "who has the time for this?" — the answer is: people who get social status, validation, and entertainment value from it. There's an economy behind this. It's not random. You're not alone.

cozypicklemeadow2886 — Jun 13, 2026, 06:53 AM (edited)

magn3t_matt — Jun 16, 2026, 03:23 PM (edited)

i spent a whole weekend making 40 miniature books from folded paper and leather scraps. FORTY. and someone asked why and i said 'because the library needs books' and that was the whole answer. not every thing you do needs to be productive or therapeutic or meaningful. sometimes making tiny things is just making tiny things. and that's allowed.

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