The Unadulting Society

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I deleted all my social media last night and now I feel erased

ghostedmyself — Nov 13, 2025, 09:44 PM

Someone posted one of my TikToks — just a silly video of me talking about my Jellycat collection — on a forum I'd never heard of. By the time a friend warned me, strangers had found my Instagram, my Facebook, and were sending me messages. Nothing super threatening, just... mocking. "Grown woman collecting stuffed animals, get therapy." "This is what happens when you don't have kids." "Cringe." I panicked and deleted everything. TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr — accounts I've had for years, gone in about 20 minutes. And now I'm sitting here feeling... blank. Like I erased a whole version of myself. All my mutuals, all my saved posts, all the little communities I was part of. Gone. I know I did it to protect myself but I feel like I lost something. Does that make any sense?

Replies (20)

softskymarin [admin] — Nov 15, 2025, 03:22 PM

It makes so much sense, and I'm so sorry this happened to you. 💛 You didn't just delete accounts — you lost archives of your life, social connections, creative output, and spaces where you felt understood. That's real loss. The fact that it was "just online" doesn't make it less real. Please know you didn't cause this. You made a video about something that brings you joy. Other people chose to be cruel about it. That is 100% on them.

ghostedmyself — Nov 16, 2025, 04:44 AM

@SoftSkyMarin Thank you. It's hard not to feel like I was asking for it somehow, even though I know intellectually that posting about stuffed animals isn't "asking for" anything.

raccoonking — Nov 18, 2025, 08:12 AM

The panic-delete is a survival reflex. I've done it twice. Both times it felt like the only option in the moment. What I've learned: the people who do this — the scrapers, the mockery-forum posters — they're counting on your shame. They want you to disappear. Your deletion is what they were aiming for. And the fact that you now feel erased? That's the whole point of their script. Understanding that helped me move from "I deleted everything and I'm so dumb" to "I took the only exit that felt available in a terrifying situation, and the people who made that exit feel necessary are the ones at fault."

lilpawz — Nov 18, 2025, 10:29 AM (edited)

the blank feeling is so real. like you've been digitally unmade. i still sometimes think "oh i should post that" and then remember i can't because i nuked everything.

neuronnoodle — Nov 24, 2025, 07:39 PM

I'm going to gently suggest something that might feel counterintuitive right now: document everything before you delete any remaining traces. Take screenshots of the forum post, the messages, the timestamps. Save the evidence in a folder you don't have to look at but CAN access if you ever need it. You may never do anything with it, but having it means the story belongs to YOU, not just to them. Also — and this is important — some of those platforms let you restore accounts within 30 days of deletion. Facebook and Instagram definitely do. It might be worth checking if you want to recover anything, even just to archive it privately before deciding what's next.

plushieprotector — Nov 25, 2025, 11:47 AM

If you're looking for a safer space to land, the article "When the Internet Decides You're Entertainment" on this site's main blog has some guidance on evaluating whether a community is actually safe vs. just claiming to be. Also — and I know this is self-serving since this IS the forum — spaces that vet members and have active human moderation are harder for the harassment forums to infiltrate. Smaller, slower, more intentional communities.

noodlearms — Nov 25, 2025, 09:16 PM

the "reclaim your data" advice is spot on. even if you don't look at it for years. i still have a folder called "receipts" from 2019 and i've never opened it but knowing it exists helps me sleep.

dreamyjuice7294 — Feb 6, 2026, 04:41 AM (edited)

tinymangoden9399 — Feb 6, 2026, 10:27 PM (edited)

@SoftSkyMarin Thank you. It's hard not to feel like I was asking for it somehow, even though I know intellectually that posting about stuffed animals isn't "asking for" anything.

dustytrout333 — Feb 7, 2026, 08:42 AM (edited)

wobblypotatolair511 — Feb 14, 2026, 10:37 PM

@lil_pawz This morning I picked up my phone to check Instagram and just... stared at the empty spot on my home screen. Muscle memory.

crispypancakegrove1151 — Feb 27, 2026, 02:14 AM (edited)

jumpyraven472 — Feb 27, 2026, 05:13 AM

@neuron_noodle Excellent practical advice. @ghostedmyself — even if you never want to be on those platforms again, recovering temporarily to download your data/archive your content is worth the effort. You can always delete again afterward.

mossysnail1079 — Mar 3, 2026, 06:58 AM

I did the mass-delete five years ago after someone found my Reddit account and used my post history about childhood trauma to mock me. I lost ten years of saved posts, conversations, communities. The grief was real and it lasted months. What helped: I started a private blog. Not public, not social media — just a password-protected WordPress on my own domain where I could write and post photos and be "online" without being findable. It's not the same as the communities I lost, but it gave me somewhere to put the things I would normally post. Over time I've found new, smaller, more heavily moderated spaces where I feel safer.

squishyfrog6647 — Mar 12, 2026, 01:07 PM (edited)

@dino_nuggie_dad The private blog idea is really appealing. I've been thinking about starting a Substack or something but the idea of being public again makes me nauseous. Password-protected sounds... manageable.

glitterglue — Apr 24, 2026, 05:47 PM

I want to name something I haven't seen anyone else mention: the awkwardness of explaining this to people in your offline life. When friends ask "why did you delete your Instagram?" and you have to decide whether to explain the whole thing or just say "needed a break." Both options feel bad in different ways. You don't owe anyone an explanation, but having a stock phrase ready helps — something like "my account got targeted by a harassment forum and I decided to step back for my safety." It communicates enough without requiring you to relive it.

jumpypilloworchard1136 — Apr 29, 2026, 04:43 PM

@glitterglue This is so real. Two coworkers have already asked and I just said "digital detox" and changed the subject. But "digital detox" makes it sound like a wellness choice, not a survival response.

loudtoast795 — Jun 25, 2026, 08:30 PM

For anyone reading this who hasn't experienced it: this is called "buddy-trolling" or "lolcow farming" in some spaces. There are entire forums devoted to finding people's content — especially from neurodivergent, agere, and disability communities — and mocking it. The people running those forums monetize cruelty. It's not random bullying; it's organized. Understanding the mechanics helped me stop personalizing it. I wasn't targeted because I was especially cringe — I was targeted because my content type was on their radar and I was visible. That's it.

speedyotterharbor732 — Jun 30, 2026, 11:12 AM

@the_raccoon_king "Monetize cruelty" is a phrase I'm going to sit with for a while. That's exactly what it felt like — like I was being turned into content for someone else's audience.

drowsypillow31487 — Jul 22, 2026, 01:49 PM (edited)

I just want to say thank you to everyone in this thread. I posted this at 3am feeling like I'd made a huge mistake and now I feel... not okay, exactly, but less alone. I think I'm going to try to recover my Instagram at least, archive my photos, and then figure out what comes next. This community is already helping. 💛

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