The Unadulting Society

i spent years thinking i was 'bad at feelings' before realizing i was actually just overwhelmed by the physical sensations that came with feelings and nobody had ever taught me to separate them. 'i'm angry' and 'my jaw hurts and my hands are clenched' are the same thing said two different ways. but the second one gives me something i can actually DO something about.

Lockdown protocol, in order: 1. **Immediate (next 10 minutes):** Set ALL accounts to private. Every platform. Don't think about which ones "matter" — all of them. 2. **Remove identifying links between accounts:** Your TikTok bio links to Instagram? Remove it. Your Twitter has your Discord username? Delete the tweet. Cross-platform breadcrumbs are how they're finding you. 3. **Change display names and profile pictures across all platforms.** Don't use the same photo on multiple accounts. Don't use a photo with your face if possible. Go generic or use an avatar. 4. **Audit follower/friend lists:** Remove anyone you don't personally know offline. This is not the time for "but we've been mutuals for years." If you can't verify they're a real person you trust, remove them. 5. **Google yourself:** Search your known usernames, your email address, your real name. See what comes up. Request removal of anything you can. 6. **Check haveibeenpwned.com** for your email — see if your data is already circulating. 7. **Enable 2FA** on every account that offers it. Use an authenticator app, not SMS. 8. **Contact platform Trust & Safety** on every platform where harassment is occurring. Use the word "harassment campaign." Report individual pieces of content, not just the user. You're in triage mode. Speed matters. Do steps 1-3 immediately, then work through the rest. 🦝

also: log out of everything on your phone. delete the apps if you can. web-only access through a browser that doesn't stay logged in. makes it harder for them to track you and harder for you to panic-check.

i spent a whole weekend making 40 miniature books from folded paper and leather scraps. FORTY. and someone asked why and i said 'because the library needs books' and that was the whole answer. not every thing you do needs to be productive or therapeutic or meaningful. sometimes making tiny things is just making tiny things. and that's allowed.

i think about this through my diorama lens a lot. the abandoned library i'm building — it's not really about books. it's about what happens to things when people leave them behind. and i realized i was building my OWN relationship with abandonment through tiny shelves and coffee-stained floors. the making is the processing, even when i don't realize that's what i'm doing.