The Unadulting Society

A human-moderated, SFW safe haven for neurodivergent adults, trauma survivors, and regressive/somatic healers. Zero tolerance for bad actors.

The DM started supportive, then turned into an interrogation — what just happened?

xX_GlitchCore_Xx — Jun 6, 2026, 12:00 PM

Someone DM'd me after I posted about having a rough week. Their first messages were so kind — "I'm here if you need to talk," "your feelings are valid," "you deserve support." I was grateful. I opened up a little. And then something shifted. It stopped being "how are you feeling?" and became "tell me exactly what happened to you." "When did it start?" "Who was involved?" "What's the worst thing that ever happened to you?" "Do you have any photos from that time?" The questions got more specific, more insistent. When I hesitated, they said "I'm just trying to understand" and "you can trust me." I didn't give them anything really personal, and eventually they stopped messaging. But I've felt unsettled ever since. Was this an extraction attempt that failed? Was I being farmed? I can't tell if I'm being paranoid or if I narrowly dodged something awful.

Replies (4)

sk3tch3s — Jun 12, 2026, 09:25 PM (edited)

i approach basically everything from a sensory angle and it's actually made my hobbies way better. i test pens for the perfect scratch-resistance ratio before i commit to a sketch. i have opinions about paper weight. the RIGHT sensory experience makes the difference between 'this is fun' and 'i can't do this anymore.' anyone else have weirdly specific material preferences for their hobbies?

latebl00mer_ben — Jun 14, 2026, 12:13 AM (edited)

I collect fountain pens and I've learned that the right tool changes everything. Not because it's expensive — my favorite pen cost $30 — but because it feels right in my hand. The weight, the balance, the way the ink flows. There's a lesson in that somewhere about finding the things that fit YOU instead of trying to fit yourself into things that weren't made for you.

softskymarin [admin] — Jun 15, 2026, 12:00 AM

Trust your gut. What you're describing is the transition from Stage 3 (trust-building) to Stage 4 (extraction) in the buddy-troll script. The shift from supportive listening to specific, probing questions about your trauma is the tell. Genuinely supportive people ask "how can I support you?" — not "give me the details of what happened to you." The fact that they lost interest when you didn't comply with the extraction phase actually confirms what they were. A real friend wouldn't disappear when you held a boundary. A buddy-troll moves on to an easier target. You weren't paranoid. Your instincts protected you. 💛

green_typewriter — Jun 22, 2026, 08:41 PM (edited)

There's something about working with your hands that reconnects you to being human in a way screens never can. I strip rust off old cast iron pans. My friend builds model trains. Another friend bakes sourdough. Different tools, same impulse — making something tangible in a world that increasingly wants everything to be digital and disposable.

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