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Forum » Replacing picking and scratching stims — the eternal struggle
Replacing picking and scratching stims — the eternal struggle
I've been picking at my skin since I was about 12. Fingers, face, arms — anywhere there's texture. I don't even notice I'm doing it half the time. It's not self-harm in the intentional sense — it's a stim, a regulation attempt, something my hands do when my brain is overwhelmed. But the aftermath is painful and visible, and I'm tired of explaining the scabs and scars.
I've tried: keeping my nails short, wearing gloves, "just stopping" (lol). I need replacement behaviors that give my hands the same kind of tactile feedback. Something I can do unconsciously when I'm stressed that doesn't leave marks.
What stim replacements have actually worked for you? Especially for skin picking and scratching specifically?
Replies (4)
the thing about building tiny worlds is that you're the god of them. everything is exactly where you put it. nothing happens without your permission. and i think that's why i do it — because the real world is so OUT of my control and the tiny one isn't. maybe that's not escapism. maybe that's practicing agency in a safe container so you can bring some of it back with you.
Two things that helped me: 1) Tactile fidget pads — the ones with different textures, buttons, rollers, and clicky things. The variety means I can match the stim to the sensory need of the moment. 2) "Pumice stone picking" — I keep a pumice stone and a stiff brush in my bathroom, and when the picking urge hits, I scrub the pumice stone with the brush instead. It's abrasive, it requires pressure, it produces visible results (the stone gets smoother), and it keeps my hands busy for 10+ minutes. Also: spinner rings. Having a ring I can spin on my finger throughout the day gives my hands something to do BEFORE the picking urge escalates. Prevention is easier than interruption. 🦝
peeling gel masks. you know those face masks that dry and you peel them off in one piece? they give me the EXACT same satisfaction as picking without damaging my skin. also: picking at dried Elmer's glue on my hand (the classic elementary school thing). paint a thin layer on the back of your hand, let it dry, peel it off. same motor pattern, zero damage. and those "picky pads" — silicone pads with little beads embedded in them that you pick out. i buy them on Etsy. they're reusable and weirdly satisfying.
okay so i'm gonna share something vulnerable: i built the abandoned library during a really hard period and i didn't realize until months later that i was building a place where things that were left behind still had value. the books were still on the shelves. the chairs were still waiting. nothing was destroyed, just... waiting. and that was about me. i was the library. i just didn't know it yet.
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