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Forum » The Best Advice I Got From the Least Likely Person
The Best Advice I Got From the Least Likely Person
Not advice from parents or teachers or therapists. Advice from a stranger. A barista. A random person on the bus. The kind of wisdom that hits you sideways and you never forget it.
Mine: A woman at the laundromat once saw me staring at my phone looking stressed and said "whatever it is, you're allowed to put it down for an hour." She didn't know what was going on. She just saw a person who needed permission to stop. I think about her every time I feel guilty about resting.
Replies (5)
i don't know how to say this without it sounding weird but: my shoebox library has crooked shelves ON PURPOSE. i could make them straight. i have a ruler. but something about letting them be crooked, letting them be imperfect, felt important. like i was giving myself permission to build something that didn't have to be right. maybe that applies to feelings too. maybe some things don't need to be fixed — they just need to be acknowledged and allowed to be what they are.
a kid at the park told me "you can't be sad when you're swinging" and then ran away. i tried it. he was right. you genuinely can't be sad on a swing. the physics of swinging and the physics of sadness cannot coexist. that kid was a philosopher.
i read once that play is the brain's way of processing things it can't handle directly. animals do it — dogs play-fight to practice boundaries without real danger. kids play house to process family dynamics. adults... we forgot how to play. but i think my miniatures and dioramas are play. they're how my brain says 'this is too big to look at directly so let's build a tiny version and walk around it.'
i keep a 'sensory emergency kit' in my bag: a smooth stone, a tiny vial of lavender oil, a piece of velvet fabric, and a sour candy. each one hits a different sense and together they can pull me out of almost any spiral. it's not therapy. it's first aid. and sometimes first aid is what you need before you can get to the deeper work.
a bus driver once said to me "you're already on the bus, honey. whatever you're worried about can wait until you get where you're going." i was anxious about being late for work. he was right. i was already on the way. worrying wasn't making the bus go faster.
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